


Diet Soda Society

by findingmariah



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Enemies to Lovers, Gay Steve Rogers, Gay Tony Stark, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Minor Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Past Abuse, Sassy Tony Stark, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findingmariah/pseuds/findingmariah
Summary: Tony is a youtuber not afraid to give a piece of his mind, which causes some problems when he does a video talking about the BAFTA-winning actor, Steve Rogers.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	1. what the hell?

**STEVE**

Steve had woken up to that beautiful Saturday morning with his phone buzzing non-stop. “ _What the hell_?” he thought. There was a scary amount of notifications, even for someone like him, but given his half-asleep state that early in the morning, he just bothered to check a message from his agent Bucky with a link, saying, “Watch it. Now.” He got up, made his beloved morning cappuccino with Chantilly and turned his laptop on, clicking on the YouTube video Buck had sent him.

The title was “STEVE ROGERS, you don't fool me”. _What the hell_?

It was from a channel named You Know Who I Am - _what a shitty name_. He clicked on the start button and made himself comfortable in his big soft armchair, and soon a brunette boy appeared on his screen, and he couldn't not notice the intensity of his eyes - _well, irrelevant_. The boy smiled, showing his white teeth and Steve wasn’t impressed when he started talking and his voice sounded smooth, apparently accustomed with all that.

“Hey there! I know I went MIA for a while, and I'm sorry for having left you guys without new videos for so long, must have been suffocating. College is crazy, someone needs to remind me why was I stupid enough to choose Mechanical Engineering, I thought I'd get to build stuff during all my classes”, he sighed, waving a hand through his face as if he was really tired, which he appeared to be. “Anyways, I'm not here to ramble about how I'm dying, but to talk about him, the one you all adore, mister Steve Rogers! I've got to congratulate him on winning the BAFTA Award for best actor.”

A clasp of hands sound effect could be heard in the background, and Steve could not hold a smile back with the congratulation from the beautiful boy, but from the title, he had a strong feeling the good vibe would die anytime soon. Tony – apparently that was his name – started talking again, and his next words caught Steve off-guard.

“Ok, I was nice, now let's put some things out in the open that I know lots of people will hate me for. Yes, I think Steve is a good actor and deserves the awards he's been getting, but can someone let him know to _not_ make jokes during his interviews? Buddy, you'e terrible at it, people don't truly laugh and as an actor, you should recognize a performance. They laugh because you're famous, rich, and cute, but not close to funny. So just stop, ok? STOP.” Steve raised his eyebrows, feeling an anger rising in his veins. _What the hell?_

“Secondly, what the hell is going on inside his head? I doubt that there is someone capable of explaining me at least, three pictures of his Instagram or those philosophical-like tweets – which I'm sure he finds at those Quotes websites. They don't make sense, plus, only speaks in codes those who have something to hide. Oh, and before I forget, there are other filters. Entering in his Instagram is like entering in a profound ocean of depression - I feel like dying. Black and white picture, black and white picture, colored picture that's probably the ad of his next movie, black and white picture, black and white picture and a pic of the movie premiere.”

Steve took a long deep breath, closing his eyes, trying not to lose completely his reason. He just really liked the black and white.

“Third, button up those shirts you steal from your grandma, they are ugly as hell, and coming from someone who doesn't have any knowledge on fashion, even my mom dresses better. And last, but not least, relationships. Besides acting, Steve did one good thing in his life, which was breaking up with that Sharon. I'm gonna make an impression of the little thing acting.” he adopted a serious expressionless posture, quite different from a few seconds before, “Sharon smiling, Sharon depressed, Sharon dying, Sharing getting dumped. Ok, the focus here is not Sharon. Steve Rogers, honey, you can kiss all the actresses in the world, but let me tell you something: you like dicks, I bet my balls on that. You haven't discovered yourself yet, but you can't fool me and you never will – I can say that fore sure as gay. My gaydar never fails. And if you want someone to prove that to you, just give me a call and I'll gladly do it. Just pick the time and the place." A wink and a playboy smile accompanied that. "Well, I guess that's it guys; watch the new movie of our friend who's in real need of some new pants. Use the hashtag #TStarkVid in twitter to suggest new themes for the next videos, which I promise won't take that long. _Ciao!_ ”

Steve was still facing the screen of his computer jaw-dropped, in complete shock. That motherfucker had just said _what_?

He then remembered the huge amount of notifications he'd gotten that morning and entered in Twitter. The top one topic trend was #Stevelovesdicks, with over 100.000 tweets. _No.... way_. Steve was so angry he couldn't help but tweeting “I'm gonna be polemic to win likes ha ha”. He didn't even have time to breathe before he noticed a mention.

@THEtonystark: “I don't need that for fame, I have fans being honest @SteveRogers”

_Ex-k-cuse me?_

“Honest????? You don't even know me to say that you're being honest @THEtonystark”

“but I'm sure of everything I said. are _you_ been honest with yourself? @SteveRogers”

“What kind of question even is that??? You're just trying to create a polemic! @THEtonystark”

He slammed his computer shut so strongly he probably broke it.

He was _so_ killing that youtuber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guysss, soo, this is something i´ve had on my mind for quite a while, really hope u enjoy it! :) i´m going to try and update it three times a week, but i´m a really volatile person, so don´t quote me on that. also, i´d like to apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes, that´s really not my forte :( feel free to leave any comments with suggestions, opinions or whatever you´d like!  
> see you next chapter, mariah


	2. the livestream

**STEVE**

Steve sat in front of the computer, sighing while he clicked on the link popping up in his timeline for what felt like the millionth time, soon recognizing the smooth voice and whiskey eyes. _Tony Stark_.

“Jesus, is this thing on?” the boy looked at the computer and Steve had to confess that for the second time he got lost in those eyes, that seemed to look directly into his. “Ciao amore mio! Today we're going to spend a full hour together, because _holy shit_ , 5 million subscribers, fucking 5 million.”

Steve knew Bucky had told him to stop arguing with this guy and dragging himself into more polemics, but he just couldn't help it. So although he absolutely hated the guts of that crazy youtuber, if he said anything bad about Steve again, he would know first-hand.

“5 million, real 5 million people. You guys have no idea how much that means to me. It's more people than the population of my birth town! Ask me questions through the tag #TStark5M and I'll try to answer them all! Kidding, just the ones I find interesting.”

5 million people and he's already being arrogant. Steve couldn't help the eye roll. He really wanted to understand why people would subscribe to listen to the shit he says, which is apparently the only thing he does.

“Oh, and by the way, this week's video will feature Pepper, do you remember her? The crazy blonde. She will probably talk about her love life, ridiculous. She makes it seem like all women are crazy, but just between us, she's the crazy one. I feel truly sorry for the women who fall for her talk. Women, if you ever find her, run, run as if your life depends on it, no looking back. I don't want anyone crying in my timeline later ‘cause I'm no therapist.” A pillow went flying directly into Tony's face, and Steve made a mental note to thank that person later. “Guess I forgot to mention, Pepper is here right now playing video games, so in a bit after she loses for the millionth time she might be joining us.”

He goes silent for a few seconds looking at the screen of his phone, probably looking for some weird questions to answer, Steve thinks.

“ _What?_ People, I never dated Stephen. What kind of question is that?" He looks away from the screen for a second, saying "We never had sex Pepper; quit that look, what the fuck? Are you guys high? I'm a respectful, family young man.”

Steve gives a humorless laugh – he highly doubted that. His posture in his last video and his absurd offer showed just how universally far he was of him being a family young man. I mean, offering himself to prove that Steve liked dicks? _Come on_.

“If I had to stalk a famous person, it would probably be... Sam Wilson, definitely, he's really handsome and goes to the gym, not to mention he's super nice. That youtuber married to that agent Bucky Barnes.” He replied to to the person outside the camera, who soon showed their face. She had a cute expression, who radiated joy, not looking anything like someone who would be Tony's friend, Steve noted.

“Even I would stalk him. And I'm lesbian.” the girl declared, receiving a slap from the boy next to her.

“Moving on, next one is from Mantis. She wants to know my favorite super-hero. Ownt. Cute. Definitely Iron Man. He obviously uses sarcasm as a form of personal defense, plus, _well_ , he's a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

Rogers scoffed. _Of course_ , his favorite super-hero would be Iron Man. He's just as arrogant. He was much more of a Team Cap guy himself – he'd seen the movies after all, the only thing Iron Man really fought for was himself. _Typical._

“This one is from Scott, he wants to know if I have a crush in a certain blue-eyed actor... blue-eyed actor? Who's he talking about?” Steve held his breath, knowing exactly whom that boy was talking about. He knew it was just a matter of time until he popped up in that livestream.

“I think it's Rogers? You did a video saying you would show him he likes dicks if he wanted to.” the girl said again. Repeating it was really that necessary? Steve knew Tony knew who he was, the entire United States knew who he was, for Christ's sake. Not to brag or sound egocentric, but it _was_ true.

“Oh yes, mister stressed pants. I don't know if I can classify it as a crush, but come on, I'm not blind. He is super hot, I noticed it in his last movie, in that shirtless scene. So... hot.” Pepper was staring at him with raised eyebrows, holding back a laughter, and Steve's jaw dropped once more. What the hell was that to keep observing him shirtless? “But, he gets pissed when we talk about him. _Diva meltdown, don't touch me_. So just shut up, we are not going to talk about Rogers, even though you all know I'd fuck him. Which already answers Clint's question: I'm top and Steve is definitely a bottom.”

Steve was so angry he could almost feel his face becoming red. He entered in Twitter, already hearing the complaints he would listen from Bucky later, and tweeted

“Can't believe I just lost my time with that.”

One minute later and he received a mention:

“You say it's trash but you still watch it. What is it: my eyes or my mouth, Steve? @SteveRogers”

That's it. He was pretty sure by now he had _legal_ justification to shoot Tony Stark in the face.


	3. the bookshop

Steve had come to the conclusion that he could not be anywhere social media right now, or either Bucky would kill him or he would kill that _stupid_ youtuber, so he might as well read something. He then got a little sad realizing he did not have any new books in his house. He´d been so busy with work he just hadn´t had the time, he supposed, which resulted in him getting on his car and driving to what Waze told him was the closest library, arriving after 15 minutes in a cozy, vintage place.

He spent a good full hour choosing, before picking three to take – Morgan´s 12 Star Signs, Ecstatic! and (Un)forgettable –. When he arrived at the cashier he could not believe his eyes, because there he was, the _notorious_ Tony Stark, the _“you´re gay, Steve”_ Tony Stark. 

_Damm_ Steve for his bad luck and for choosing a small library with only one cashier. He took a deep breath before approaching.

“Um…Hi?” he tried to get the attention of the boy who seemed to be focused on something on his cellphone, not sure how to act. That really _was_ Tony Stark, the youtuber who said bad things about him and about a butt load of other famous people too. Tony put his phone down and gave Steve a sarcastic smile, and the actor had to secretly admit that he was much prettier in person – his eyes were much brighter and his lips had a nice shade of pink. The brunette didn´t say anything, just registered the three books.

“That´s all?” he pointed to the books as if Steve´s presence didn´t matter that much – which could be entirely true. He just nodded, knowing that trying to understand the other was probably impossible. Steve took a deep breath, knowing he would not be able to let things stay the way they were.

“Are you really going to pretend you didn´t rip on me?” Steve blurted out before giving too much thought into it, and the answer came in the form of an expression: a raised eyebrow that showed Tony had no intention in acknowledging that he knew Steve or that he made a mess in his Twitter the previous days.

“I didn´t say anything _that_ bad”, he said laughing, and Steve was dying to know what was so funny. “I just gave my opinions on a few things, but if you want me to do another, just let me know”.

“No thanks, that was enough”.

“Figured you´d say that”, he smiled again, putting the books inside a bag, “Credit, debit, money, your body?”

“My _what_?” Steve opened his mouth in confusion, not sure whether he heard that correctly. Tony stared back like the other man was getting crazy.

“How are you going to pay: credit card or money?”

“You said ‘my body’”.

“No, no I didn´t.” the youtuber lightly shook his head, while cupping his cheeks and backing his elbows in the balcony. Oh, Steve could be lots of things, but _crazy_ wasn´t one of them.

“Of course you did, I´m not mad.”

“You may have hearing problems, have you been to the doctor? It might get worse.”

“You talked about my body”, Steve said almost between gritted teeth, to which Tony simply smiled in return.

“Why are you insisting on that? Do you _want_ to pay with it?” he asked, making Steve nearly scream in anger. At least, he knew he wasn´t crazy or hearing voices.

“Obviously not. Can´t you stop saying those things? Let´s just move on from our issues”.

“But I don´t have any issues with you”, he shrugged, giving that sarcastic toothless smile and directing the card machine in Steve´s direction, as if telling him to get on with it “Don´t flatter yourself, movie star. Card or money?”

In the moment Steve was getting his card to give it to the brunette who´s life mission seemed to be pissing him off, a shriek was heard from behind him, drawing the attention of both men. He turned around slowly, and behind him was standing a little blue-haired girl with a big smile and wide eyes shifting between the two of them.

“I´m a huge fan of both of you”, her voice was slight and shy, and Steve directed a smile in her direction, like he was used to, but Tony simply gave a fake smile for a few seconds after returning to his bored expression “Hum… Can I take two pictures? One between you and the other just you two?”

“ _What?”_ Steve asked in confusion, thinking for the second time in the last half an hour that he was getting crazy “What was that about the second picture?”

“I like both of you and I want to imagine you get along well, even after that video, which was pretty funny, by the way”, she said even more embarrassed, clutching to the phone on her hand. Steve could not form words in his mouth, but he didn´t have to, because he suddenly heard Tony´s smooth voice.

“Sure you can, honey, unless Rogers here, refuses”, son of a _fucking_ bitch, Steve wanted to smash his face in that balcony until his whiskey eyes were blood-crimson.

“Let´s do it, why not?” he muttered, and the brunette soon left from behind the balcony with a smile on his face, that was somehow managing to annoy Steve even more. _Who did he even think he was?_ The girl stood between them and asked for a random customer to snap the picture.

“Ok, now you two”, she said excitedly, waving her phone in their direction, and Steve wished _so bad_ he was in his house, with his good-smelling new books, without Tony and the fan that made him take a picture with him. _Smile and wave, Steve, smile and wave._ Tony stopped right beside Steve, arms touching, and he promptly decided to ignore the energy that waved through his body that moment. “Thank you so much!”

“Bye, love” the youtuber said, returning to behind the balcony, and Steve gave him his card with a serious expression, noticing the other´s sarcastic smile.

_God, how he wanted to punch that smile._


End file.
